Elias the Big East Tennis Champion: Final Year of Tennis

 Wow, what a great season for Elias' final year of tennis. Bunn High School did phenomenal this year. They were champion in doubles as well as singles in the Big East Tournament that was held at Sunset Park in Rocky Mount. 

Spring Break 2025

 Well, we have kept Jim and Pam busy with yard work while they are here. They were very helpful with meals and running errands and driving kids around. They helped us set up and establish our new vegetable garden and clean up some bushes and vines in the yard. 

We went to Virginia at the Wyndham Kings Gate resort. We had a great time. They wanted to see the colonial Virginia historic site. That was fun. 

Ether 2:17

 I look forward to hearing the voice of the Lord. I don't have really anyone to pour my heart to and receive counsel but from the Lord. I never mentioned to my mom or siblings that I am trying to be pregnant. 

This morning, I did the same thing. I flipped open my scriptures after a prayerful supplication before the Lord and it took me to Ether 2:17

"17 And they were built after a manner that they were exceedingly tight, even that they would hold water like unto a dish; and the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the sides thereof were tight like unto a dish; and the ends thereof were peaked; and the top thereof was tight like unto a dish; and the length thereof was the length of a tree; and the door thereof, when it was shut, was tight like unto a dish."

I thought, I must be tight like unto a dish. I have been prepared by the Lord for this purpose at this time. I looked at how the Lord address the Brother of Jared's concerns and how merciful the Lord was. What I got from the spirit from these verses is that the Lord said " I will prepare you, you cannot accomplish what I am asking you to do unless I prepare you."

Just like the Brother of Jared, God will prepare a way. I need not concern whether I get pregnant now and have a middle of tax season deadline. That doesn't matter anymore, the Lord is mighty and He always provide a way.

Chastised by the Lord through Scriptures

 March 30,  2025

Leading up to today, I thought for sure that I am pregnant. My last period was since February 26th, it's been over a month.

I was so disappointed to see blood stain in my bottom garments when I went to the bathroom this early Sunday morning.

Audrey invited me to make cookies for much and mingle this morning but I asked for a few minutes of pondering before I could help. I wanted to connect with the Lord first. I wanted to hear his voice. I was so disappointed that I was not pregnant. I knew that I will be at some point but I was really hoping it to be sooner. Hoping for this year's due date  to give me time for tax season preparation. Every month I check I get disappointed and we have been trying and maybe we are trying too hard. 

Last night, I sat beside my bed, my face resting on both of my hands, feeling down and trodden. Scott came into the room and asked me what was the matter. I lifted my teary eyes and told him that I am scared. "What are you scared about?" he asked. I said I am old and I could be pregnant, I feel like I am pregnant, my period hasn't come, it's been late 4-5 days. I was so concerned that if I was pregnant now, I am too old and what and how am I going to do tax season this coming spring? He gave me a hugged and comforted me. We are in this together. 

So that was last night, then of course, I was proven wrong when I saw the blood stains. I went to my office to pray and ponder and I was trying to find answers in my solace. I asked the Lord to speak to me through the scriptures. After I prayed, in my heart i said, "ok Lord, I am going to flip my scriptures open, please help me find answers."

I flipped open to page 125 of the Triple combination in Doctrine and Covenants. I looked to see it had both section 67 & 68. I decided to start on 67. I never got to section 68, it was the Lord's answer for me, section 67.

Verses 2-4 hit me to the very center. The Lord has his eyes on me. Though I believed I would get pregnant, I did not received the blessings offered because "I had fear in my hear." This is the very reason I did not receive, in other words, as long as I didn't trust the Lord and fear the consequences of pregnancy, I would not receive this blessing. 

Wow, did I ever have much to repent for. The Lord knows me alright. I needed to repent and ask the Lord to forgive me and to have the Lord take away my fears. 

In verse 4, the Lord himself is testifyng of the commandment that was given to me - to bear a child. 

Verse 10, I got the message that the blessing to be pregnan t is a "privilege" and I have been ordained in this ministry of motherhood. If I were humble and be stripped of fears, I shall come to know the power of Christ. 

Verse 13 says I am to continue in patience. When I saw that my period came, I was disappointed. I was ready to storm the room over to where Scott was who was still asleep and to tell him to forget it. Forget about trying to conceive. It was too stressful. I could just move on with my life and enjoy my freedom, play pickle ball whenever I want to, go for a run, travel, and be free. 

I thought I had one miscarriage so I am being extra careful, but every month, I am not pregnant I felt frustrated. 

Verse 14 says "Let not your mind turn back, and when you are worthy, in Mine own DUE time, ye shall see and know which was conferred upon you (visions)."

Again, I have much to repent, though I wanted to oben, I had not fully trust the Lord in the process and his time line. 

My prayer went like this:

"Yes Lord, I am ready to be a mother again. I am trying to follow your command. Can we possibly get pregnant to have a due date in Oct, Nov,  or December? December at the latest so it's before tax season at least."

Today, I undesrtood from His counsel through the scriptures that I did have fears, I believed but did not trust the Lord completely. 

Now my prayer changed to

"Yea Lord, that are my captain. Though knowest and sees the future. Help me trust in thee. You can do the impossible and I have seen it in my life. I don't care anymore Lord, we can have an April 15th due date, it doesn't matter anymore (tax deadline) for thou are might and will provide a way."

I am grateful for his tender mercies. The Lord is trying to help me resolve my own cocnerns as he always had in time past. I am humbled that the Lord always knows my needs and I have much to work on. 

I showed Scott section 67 as we were getting ready for church.  He was floored. Definitely felt chastised and humbled also since the night before he was just comforting me about my fears. 

Pam and Jim's visit March 11 - April 12 2025

 It was always nice to have Jim and Pam visit us. They didn't know we have moved to a new house. Scott drove them home from the airport and they wondered where the gate had gone (lake royale gated community). They were very suprised. 

35 Moonraker Dr. Spring Hope NC

   

March madness 2025: Shocking discovery and a cry for help!!!

 This week we received a correspondence from the admin at Vance Granville college basically indicating that Elias is in danger of failing to meet his grades to graduate.

****More info

Dreaming of Me -An

 I woke up this morning wiping off a tear from my eyes. I dreamt of my sister Me-an. In the dream I was begging her to make amend, to make things right for the sake of our mom, her self, and her generation that she is leaving behind. In the dream I was hysterically crying for her to do so, and I was devastated when she chose not to. I moved on to an apartment scene, cleaning the room and still crying and sobbing for her choices that she made. 

At one scene when I ran across her on the street, I was trying to avoid her, but it appears I was walking and her bed was passing above me on the street and I see her hair bald and her eyes tired as she laid exhausted on the bed. 

That is all I remembered from a dream. I felt sad and I felt pity for her, I wanted to give her a hug but to this day she's not speaking to me because I had mentioned to her that selling Jon's house behind him was morally wrong even if she owned the land where Jon Jon's house was sitting on. I felt bad for my siblings who were torn apart by real estate, by desire to have more. 

I am afraid what this dream could mean. I know that losing hair might mean some radiation treatment. I hope that I am wrong, but I continue to pray for my siblings and for mother.

I pray that the Love of God may fill their hearts.

Pregnancy test snafu and more baby dream

 

We moved to 35 Moonraker Dr, Spring Hope NC in January 18, 2025. It was a lot of work. To this day we are still moving and still trying to clean and paint the Shawnee house to get it ready for our tenant that will be moving in on February 15th.  My ovulation was between 15-20th. By the 24rth Thursday, I was feeling something like an implantation cramp as described online. I was also constipated, gassy, and I felt exhausted. I thought for sure I was pregnant. I was hungry at breakfast, but perhaps that's psychological, but I definitely felt tired. I told Scott I could not help lift the organ piano that was being given to us that day, but i helped anyway as it was heavy for just him and Elias. My period was supposed to come on Feb 4, but 4 days before, I had no signs. I felt positive I was pregnant and I felt encourage to go ahead and buy a pregnancy test. As i read the instruction on that Saturday afternoon, it indicated that it was best to test with the first urine of the day so I thought it best to do it the following day Sunday. I woke up from a dream, in the dream I saw two strips on the prengancy test which would indicate positive pregnancy. I was feeling even more conifdent thinking that the Lord has already shown me a vision and perhaps I didn't need to take the test. But I thought, why not, I have never used one and I thought it would be fun. To my surprise, my reading came negative. And this was 3 days before my period date and the instruction indicated a 98% detection. I didn't know to think but trusting that the vision is true and that the test could be in error. I tested again on the 4th, when my period was scheduled to come, again it was negative. I was then again puzzled but not worried for I knew that I had already seen the vision. it's confirmation after another. After all, this whole adventure started off on a dream. On February 6th, my period came, however, this time it was very heavy. I was changing pad every two hours and the flow was just constant and with small clots. My intuition thinks that I was having a miscarriage. I never had such a heavy flow before. 

My thoughts turn to the Savior. I regretted that I had not been more careful at my age. I had gone and shoveled dirt and gravel, and hauld them in wheelbarrow all the way in the backyard at shawnee to fix the pation area. I felt out of breath and felt at that time that I could be pushing myself. I even stopped the plan to burn at the fire pit and clean the yard further. 

Interestingly, I had another dream two days later. My dream shows a baby boy on the floor on top of what seems like a lot of sewing fabric, floor was covered and I picked up the child to console from crying but when I decide to put the baby down, I found mysefl struggling to find a good spot because the floor was covered and I even discovered a needle and thread and I thought this is not safe for the baby. As I held the baby, it was a boy, I knew because he was somehow peeing and shooting upward barely missing his own head. 

I woke up from that dream thinking, the chaos on the floor probably represented all the work and business I am involved in and that in order to get pregnant at this age, I need to be more careful and be rested to ensure pregnancy stick. I am still hopeful and trusting in the Lord's timing. Once I have made the decision, I am very excited. But now I can somehow relate to those other women who desperately want to have a child and can't or have to wait for a long time. This experience is teaching me to be patient and to trust in the Lord. 

Happy New Year 2025!

 Building Emotional Resilience Unto The Lord, lesson 185 seminary

How well do I respond to emotionally challenging situtaion? Not well. This has always been my struggle. I think I know m triggers. I work efficiently and my every  minute counts, so I struggle with my family, mostly the kids, who do not make their time useful.

I think I communicate my expectations to my family a lot, maybe some hint dropping here and there that are ignored and just drives me nuts. 

This year's goal is to be cheerful. Be Intentional about it. I am gratefull in all things. I know the Lord can help me here but I need to recruit my own family to support me and help me recognize my triggers so I can avoid emotional outbursts.

Matthew 14:13-25, But I don't have ill intent in my heart to yell and harm my kids. I ust get frustrated that I am not heard or understood sometimes. 

John11:32-44  Verse 41 stood out to me. The whole chapter did not record a vocal prayer of the Lord yet in vs 41, he said " I thank thee (refering to Heavenly Father) that thou has heard me. I know that thou hearest me always. "

The Savior himself always had a constant prayer in his heart. He testified that God the Father always hear him, even his silent prayers. Wow, the power of constant prayer can  per se "bring back Lazarus."

Like the Savior, I always try to have a payer in my heart, but I need to be intentional about speaking kind words and avoid an outburst. 

Isaiah 53:3-5

D & C 19: 28, 38  Pray always to obtain God's treasures. He will pour out the Holy Ghost

D & C 1:7   D & C 6:15-23 Inquire of the Lord and be enlightened.

D & C 10:5  Pray always. Be a conqueror of the battle of Good and Evil

D & C 18:18 The HG will manifest all things expedient to men