Dreaming of Me -An

 I woke up this morning wiping off a tear from my eyes. I dreamt of my sister Me-an. In the dream I was begging her to make amend, to make things right for the sake of our mom, her self, and her generation that she is leaving behind. In the dream I was hysterically crying for her to do so, and I was devastated when she chose not to. I moved on to an apartment scene, cleaning the room and still crying and sobbing for her choices that she made. 

At one scene when I ran across her on the street, I was trying to avoid her, but it appears I was walking and her bed was passing above me on the street and I see her hair bald and her eyes tired as she laid exhausted on the bed. 

That is all I remembered from a dream. I felt sad and I felt pity for her, I wanted to give her a hug but to this day she's not speaking to me because I had mentioned to her that selling Jon's house behind him was morally wrong even if she owned the land where Jon Jon's house was sitting on. I felt bad for my siblings who were torn apart by real estate, by desire to have more. 

I am afraid what this dream could mean. I know that losing hair might mean some radiation treatment. I hope that I am wrong, but I continue to pray for my siblings and for mother.

I pray that the Love of God may fill their hearts.

Pregnancy test snafu and more baby dream

 

We moved to 35 Moonraker Dr, Spring Hope NC in January 18, 2025. It was a lot of work. To this day we are still moving and still trying to clean and paint the Shawnee house to get it ready for our tenant that will be moving in on February 15th.  My ovulation was between 15-20th. By the 24rth Thursday, I was feeling something like an implantation cramp as described online. I was also constipated, gassy, and I felt exhausted. I thought for sure I was pregnant. I was hungry at breakfast, but perhaps that's psychological, but I definitely felt tired. I told Scott I could not help lift the organ piano that was being given to us that day, but i helped anyway as it was heavy for just him and Elias. My period was supposed to come on Feb 4, but 4 days before, I had no signs. I felt positive I was pregnant and I felt encourage to go ahead and buy a pregnancy test. As i read the instruction on that Saturday afternoon, it indicated that it was best to test with the first urine of the day so I thought it best to do it the following day Sunday. I woke up from a dream, in the dream I saw two strips on the prengancy test which would indicate positive pregnancy. I was feeling even more conifdent thinking that the Lord has already shown me a vision and perhaps I didn't need to take the test. But I thought, why not, I have never used one and I thought it would be fun. To my surprise, my reading came negative. And this was 3 days before my period date and the instruction indicated a 98% detection. I didn't know to think but trusting that the vision is true and that the test could be in error. I tested again on the 4th, when my period was scheduled to come, again it was negative. I was then again puzzled but not worried for I knew that I had already seen the vision. it's confirmation after another. After all, this whole adventure started off on a dream. On February 6th, my period came, however, this time it was very heavy. I was changing pad every two hours and the flow was just constant and with small clots. My intuition thinks that I was having a miscarriage. I never had such a heavy flow before. 

My thoughts turn to the Savior. I regretted that I had not been more careful at my age. I had gone and shoveled dirt and gravel, and hauld them in wheelbarrow all the way in the backyard at shawnee to fix the pation area. I felt out of breath and felt at that time that I could be pushing myself. I even stopped the plan to burn at the fire pit and clean the yard further. 

Interestingly, I had another dream two days later. My dream shows a baby boy on the floor on top of what seems like a lot of sewing fabric, floor was covered and I picked up the child to console from crying but when I decide to put the baby down, I found mysefl struggling to find a good spot because the floor was covered and I even discovered a needle and thread and I thought this is not safe for the baby. As I held the baby, it was a boy, I knew because he was somehow peeing and shooting upward barely missing his own head. 

I woke up from that dream thinking, the chaos on the floor probably represented all the work and business I am involved in and that in order to get pregnant at this age, I need to be more careful and be rested to ensure pregnancy stick. I am still hopeful and trusting in the Lord's timing. Once I have made the decision, I am very excited. But now I can somehow relate to those other women who desperately want to have a child and can't or have to wait for a long time. This experience is teaching me to be patient and to trust in the Lord.