November 4, 2024
Scott and I got a foreclosure property in October 2023, we have finally reached a point where it is now on the market as of October 26. The whole family has been working on this property. It's nice to see huge improvement. The property is located just a couple of minutes outside of Lake Royale, 3066 Sledge Rd. We were in contract by mid November listed for $280 000. The buyer asked for $10k concession. We were just happy to be in contract in less than a month. What a blessing.
Just when I thought this dream was behind me it came back. I am getting used to the early morning seminary schedule. I appreciate the quiet time that Elias and I have in the car as we drive to and from church. The seminary calling has definitely brought me much closer to the Savior.
The dream that I had appeared to be in a resort area. As I looked outside the building, I found myself and two kids by the shore, which shore was short and was down from a cliff. At the top of the cliff was where I was originally which seemed like 7 to 8 feet high.
I saw that a set of big waves, tsunami like was about to hit "us" against the wall of the cliff. I was with 2 kids, a boy toddler and a girl maybe 4 to 5 years old.
In my dream, I was not sure they were my kids but they seemed to look up to me for protection and that they were my responsibility. I was trying to lift the boy above my head as high as I can for him to reach safety at the top of the cliff, when a male hand from the above grabbed the boy to rescue him. Then I worked on lifting the girl next. I managed to barely get myself out of the shore from the bottom of the cliff when the waves came crashing hard. I sat on top of the cliff on the ground hugging the 2 kids, feeling grateful that we made it.
The theme of this dream was the same with all the other dreams I have had in recent past years. It was about saving a child or two. I tried to dismiss this dream thinking that it was past the time, that the Lord already gave me an out (from previous dreams/revelation/vision). I told Scott about it, he said, "you are having those baby dreams again, hmm". I replied, "yup." And that was that, nothing more was discussed.
Last October 17, 2024, a return missionary named Jonathan Abbot from the Henderson ward spoke of this fatih to serve. He went later in his 20 because he had a good job with the family business, that is with his grandparents who raised him. It was funeral home service. His grandfather was not well and he thought if he went on his mission, he may not see him again in this lifetime.
He saif "If you have doubt, that is not faith." That really struck my heart.
In his testimony he related that with faith, he decided to choose to serve knowing full well about his grandfather's condition. While on mission, he met a part member family. Husband was not a member. In the process of time, the husband got baptized and the wife got pretty closed with Elder Abbot's grandmother. They connected regularly over the phone. The became good friends.
The sweet short story was that this wife, this sister, ended up donating one of her kidney for Elder Abbot's grandfather because they were a total match, blood type. Wow, what a story of faith and charity.
After the meeting, I shooked brother Abbot's hand and thanked him for sharing his stories and that he gave me something to think about and ponder. "If you have doubt, that is not faith. "
The following Sunday, October 24th, I was up as usual due to muscle memory of teaching seminary. I coulnd't sleep in even if I wanted to. I went into my office and decided to read towards the end of Moroni, particularly chapter 7. I imagine myself in a cave with moroni, no comfort of life, solitary but not lonely. He spoke of faith, hope an charity. Verses 27-33. Moroni was stripped of everything in this life but his faith and hope in Christ.
Verse 31 spoke of the covenants of the Father. I asked myself the question, "what is my covenant?". Often times we speak of all the commandments we have to keep. Verse 31-33, we are "called to fulfill and to do the work of the covenant of the father... by delcaring the workd of Christ unto the Chosen vessel of the Lord.... the Holy Ghost may have a place in their heard.
Verse 33, "if you have faith in me, ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me. "
As I read these verses, I tried to remove distractions, the house, the car, the business, the comforts of life, and all I have left was what Moroni had in that cave, his hope and faith in Christ through his covenant. All he had was the covenant he made with the Father. All "I" really have is the covenant I made with Heavenly Father.
What then is my covenant? In that cave, I found a clear and direct answer-- "TO DO THE WILL OF THE FATHER."
That was basically what the entire ministry of Jesus Christ, "to do the will of the Father." And he did shew us that. Therefore my covenant is the same, to follow JC example and to do the will of the father.
So what then is being asked of me by the Father? To bring forth more children into this world. Yes, in my late 40s, 47 to be exact.
These dreams I have been seeing were visions and revelations of what the Lord asked of me. I see now that the Lord needed to give me the seminary calling, to do something that is hard, to prepare me to have more faith to do the next step.
That Sunday morning, my tears rolled own my cheeks as I humbly accept the Lords' will to bear a child. I said, "Lord, I am ready. I will do it now." I cried tears of joy and thanked Moroni in helping me see what my covenant truly meant, "to do the will of the Father." It's going to be hard, but there is a promise in verse 33 "ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me."
The Lord has blessed my life so much, how can I think I can hold back and make excuses. I sorely repented for my lack of faith and trust. I see why the seminary calling was needed to get me to make this decision.
How can I possibly stand before my seminary students and tell them that they can do hard things through Christ when I wasn not willing to. I knew I had to obey. I will likely be released from my calling as seminary when I get pregnant. I felt sad about it, I have come to love this calling and the youth I serve. I am learning what the word "expedient" meant when the Lord uses the term.
Scripturally, the word implies or is used to describe something that is advantageous, beneficial, or useful in a given situtation. It often carries a strategic or ethical implication, urging believers to consider what is MOST beneficial for spiritual grown, or community welfare rather than personal gain.
I would like to think that bringing a child int his world would be beneficial for my spiritual growth. We are to multiply and replenish the earth. When I scrolll in social media, especially of late, I see two women in wedding dresses celebrating their union, and the first thing that came to my mind was, "there goes the plan of salvation."
I must asnwer the call. The scripture truly tells us what to do and the Holy Ghost helps and shows us how to do it, 2 Nephi 32.
After my scripture study, I cam up to the bedroom where Scott was still in bed. I shared with him what I learned in the cave with Moroni and about what our covenant truly mean.I also shared with him the dream I had. The righteous man that he is, he grinned and said, "I am ready to do the Will of the Father now, " as he wrapped his arms around me to cuddle. Ha ha. I felt giddy when he said that. But all jokes and intimacy aside, I am grateful that I have my besdt friend who is ever so faithful and is willing to make this sacrifice with me to do the will of the Father.
I go through emotional wreck during pregnancy, morning sickness, post partum depression; these were Scott's biggest concern for me and that he didn't think I could get pregnant at this age. I had no doubt I can conceive but I could not promise the rest of his concerns would not happen. We will just have to face it together.
I am grateful that Scott is willing to start child rearing all over again with me. Perhaps we can be better parents this time.
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