The Lord is merciful!

 

I was overwhelmed on my first week of seminary. One day I came back from seminary and I looked in the mirror and I saw my earings were not matching, one was blue and one was pink. No, it was not intentional, I was not trying to create a new fad. I came to the conclusion that no more jewelry with early morning seminary just to be safe. Then another day I was almost ready to go and felt something was not right, I realized that I hadn't put my bra on, so I hurried back and changed, that I still wear.

I felt like I have come along way from that first week, but now I am feeling like I can be more prepared and have expectations set as I get to know my students. There is definitely daily learning experiences, both temporal and spiritual. 

Sister Rock sent me a late text one night saying that she wanted to sit in my class. As I got ready for bed, and woke up super early, I still could not wrap around my mind how I would present or start the lesson. A constant prayer was in my heart even in the car on the way to seminary. Then a sudden burst of thought came into my mind, "pictionary." We started the class with some doctrinal words with pictionary, "mercy" and "justice" were the words. We had a great discussion and the spirit was super strong. We talked about keeping the sabbath day Holy and I shared my experience in my  youth aspiring to be a cadette officer how my faith was tested to either attend the training on Sunday and be disqualified or go to church. I chose to go to church, and the Lord worked his magic. I made an officer, not high ranking but I was not disqualified.  I felt like at that moment of my first enlightenment, I knew the Lord was real, I knew he answered prayers, and I felt like i discovered a life changing recipe for success, "Lord, you mean if I only do what you say everything will work out good, wow, that's easy." I practiced in my youth up to do the will of the Savior, whatever that was asked of me. 

Sister Rock was very pleased and spoke highly how I belonged in this calling. I was grateful and felt honored and priviledged that the Lord trusted me with this calling. I have a lot to learn, but that's what I am excited about, is learning what the Lord would have me learn.

I also feel like by the Lord giving me this calling, He is saving me from being distracted, I feel and I know that accepting this call is one process for me to be stripped of pride. Oh, do I ever seek daily repentance that I maybe stripped of pride. I still lose my temper, but I hope to overcome my negative emotions through Christ. 

It was difficult for Elias at first when he found out I was his new seminary teacher. He told me he was disappointed. I took no offense. He said he loved talking to sister Frances, someone he can related to outside of the family circle (granted sister Frances is a professional therapist also). So I really had to consider Elias' input in this calling, and I asked him whether I should decline the calling because he matters to me. With him being on some spectrum, I understand that my voice can sound overwhelming for him hearing it all the time. 

As weeks go by, although we rarely speak in the care since he is mostly asleep and sometimes, both of us like the silence, immersed in our own thoughts, I feel like we have become closer together. He has told me that I am doing great as a teacher, that meant a lot to me. I have never shadowed a seminary teacher before so I don't know what to compare myself to, but all I have is my reliance on the Holy Ghost to help me deliver the message that is needed for this kids to hear.